Thursday, 5 November 2015

Hiding spot

Hiding Spot 

I smashed my brother in the the face, I know I shouldn't  of done it, but I did. I hear lots of bellowing voices as they come closer. My legs are very stiff, I try to run as fast as I can to find the best hiding spot. “WILL!”, mum yells. I don’t answer. I’m getting so stressed as I try so hard to camouflage myself into my box of toys. Then as quick as a flash dad came home, oh no I  thought to myself. 

As time passed it started to get very gloomy outside I see nothing but black. I'm going to get in so much trouble “Will get out here in “1”, I quickly scramble to Dad hoping he doesn't reach 5 “2,3”, I got there in the flash of time. “Right why did you hit your brother?”, “Because I  thought it would be funny, it wasn’t even that hard”. I said. “Now you've lost technology for a week”. Oh no I thought to myself, Jack obviously is screaming his face off with laughter. “yeah yeah really funny” I replied.  Dad says,“ Now come and have dinner”.  I'm so glad this is over. 


  1. Wow Will.. Your first paragraph is stunning! I felt like I was feeling everything you were at the time! It took my breath away a bit! Well done! Miss D :)

  2. Very good writing Will! It was like having a movie play in front of me, or perhaps it was a memory?! Cheeky Jack eh!! Good work mate, will keep an eye out for more! From Jack E

  3. Wow I was not expecting you to smash your brothers face but I quess I can't say much I've been through the same situation.

  4. I love the way you used discriptave words to draw me in. It was awesome. I get why you would hit your brother in the face just because it was funny but it backfired for you. Well done.

    1. Well done on the writing. I like the discriptave words you used in your writing. I kinda get why you would smash your brother in the face because it would be funny but you didn't think it through about parents and it backfired.

  5. Wow Will you used great discriptive words will you did such a good job but why would you smash your brother in the face was there a reason?