Thursday, 5 November 2015

Hiding spot

Hiding Spot 

I smashed my brother in the the face, I know I shouldn't  of done it, but I did. I hear lots of bellowing voices as they come closer. My legs are very stiff, I try to run as fast as I can to find the best hiding spot. “WILL!”, mum yells. I don’t answer. I’m getting so stressed as I try so hard to camouflage myself into my box of toys. Then as quick as a flash dad came home, oh no I  thought to myself. 

As time passed it started to get very gloomy outside I see nothing but black. I'm going to get in so much trouble “Will get out here in “1”, I quickly scramble to Dad hoping he doesn't reach 5 “2,3”, I got there in the flash of time. “Right why did you hit your brother?”, “Because I  thought it would be funny, it wasn’t even that hard”. I said. “Now you've lost technology for a week”. Oh no I thought to myself, Jack obviously is screaming his face off with laughter. “yeah yeah really funny” I replied.  Dad says,“ Now come and have dinner”.  I'm so glad this is over. 

6 comments:

  1. Wow Will.. Your first paragraph is stunning! I felt like I was feeling everything you were at the time! It took my breath away a bit! Well done! Miss D :)

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  2. Very good writing Will! It was like having a movie play in front of me, or perhaps it was a memory?! Cheeky Jack eh!! Good work mate, will keep an eye out for more! From Jack E

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  3. Wow I was not expecting you to smash your brothers face but I quess I can't say much I've been through the same situation.

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  4. I love the way you used discriptave words to draw me in. It was awesome. I get why you would hit your brother in the face just because it was funny but it backfired for you. Well done.

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    1. Well done on the writing. I like the discriptave words you used in your writing. I kinda get why you would smash your brother in the face because it would be funny but you didn't think it through about parents and it backfired.

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  5. Wow Will you used great discriptive words will you did such a good job but why would you smash your brother in the face was there a reason?

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